Jan 31, 2013

Are you with the right partner?

Hello everyone!

If you are reading this, let me just tell you that this is NOT a makeup related post. So if you like reading about makeup then this might not be for you, BUT I think it will not hurt if you spare 5 minutes of your time reading this, because today, I'd like to write about something more personal. :)

So here it goes:

I read this status message from my friend in Facebook and it really hit something in me.

Are you with the right partner?

During an open forum, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right person?"

The speaker then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind replied the speaker.

Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their individual or unique characteristics . Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's individual or unique characteristics , instead of being cute, it'll drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found and who found you.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't get attracted with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

There will always be someone better, prettier... sexier...wiser or whatever.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God allows people to walk into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO..

After reading this, I could not help but agree. For a relationship to last, it requires work from both parties. I am not an expert in love, but I have been in love a number of time before. I can honestly say I loved each of them but love is juts not enough. At that time, I'd rather suffer months of heartaches rather than face how I feel and do something about it. Looking back, if only had I swallowed my pride and made an effort  things won't be the same. So based on my experience, it really boils down to finding the right partner. I have met Rodel when I was in senior year of college. It was very unexpected and we became a couple in less than 2 weeks. Five years later and we are still together and I can honestly say that I love him very much and I know that he feels the same way too. I would not say our relationship perfect because it is not. We are completely different from each other and we used to have huge fights (we still do) about almost everything. And yet despite all that,  I could not bring myself to end our relationship and it is because deep down we could not live without each other. He is the person I talk to when I have problems and just a hug from him makes everything okay. We may bicker a lot but at the end of the day, we still respect each other's decision and try to compromise and meet halfway.

 Love requires a lot of work, patience and trust. It so easy to fall in love, it is difficult to stay in love.

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